Schedules & Menus & Chore Lists - Oh My!
Although winter continues its course day after day up here in the North, we are changing seasons in the Trabinski household!!
For approximately 4+ years now, I’ve taken a hiatus from my teaching career to be home with my young-uns. Some days (years) I threw up my hands at motherhood, put on my “But I AM a professional!” hat, and bolted out the door in search of Perfect Balance. I wanted a part-time teaching job that would allow me to be home most of the week with my children, yet still feel like I could speak in complete intelligent sentences at least part-time. It just never worked out that way. Serious budget cuts in our district over the past 5 years have caused buckets of teachers to continue to lose their jobs each year.
I struggled with really WANTING to be home with my kids, but feeling like I completely SUCKED at stay-at-home motherhood. I think most days I’m a good mom, but the rest of the stuff that comes with it: laundry, cooking, errands, bill-paying, paperwork, and all other things that cross your path on a daily basis – I SUCK at. My picture of staying home with my kids was like, play-dates, mornings at the park, baking together, etc. There was not a hint of that “other” list in my romanticized dream of stay-at-home motherhood. I don’t know why – perhaps I chose to block it out – pretend it wasn’t there. I found myself feeling depressed many days because I was O V E R W H E L M E D with all that had to be done and I felt like it shouldn’t feel like Rocket Science to do it. Combine that with feeling like I should be with my kids on play-dates, at the park, and baking – and you’ve got a very overwhelmed mom with tremendous guilt. Sound familiar?
I tried to enlist help from my husband, tried to get the kids on a chore-list schedule, tried, tried, TRIED. Sometimes a week would go by and it worked. I’d be so excited that we’d found the answer. But a week later I was back where I started – too much to do and - no help. Some people told me “It’s just like that when you have little ones.” Others tried to lend advice, “Why don’t you just make a chore list for your kids?” : Concern from others was appreciated, but only overwhelmed me more.
Although I don’t think there ever will be “the answer” that works for everyone, I seemed to have stumbled upon a system that (knock on wood) has been working for 2 weeks now!! :) That’s big for me so I wanted to share it with you. I sort of have the philosophy that finding balance is like trying to stop smoking – it’s going to take several tries, and trying different methods before you find what works.
Managing Motherhood Tip #2: Confront the Chaos
(Try ANYTHING!!)
Here’s my 14-day chaos-free and counting method:
Write out your own schedule –
complete with playtime with the kids, planning/making meals, snacks, etc, errands, everything. I found when you keep track of all that you actually do – it’s amazing. It was for me and it was helpful for my husband to see too. (And remember in a paid job, you are required to take a break at least every 3 hours!)
Make a list of ALL chores –
things like taking the car in for check-ups, arranging for babysitters, kids’ music lessons, etc. It will be a pretty lengthy list for certain.
Sit down with your family and divvy them up –
with your personal schedule in hand so you can see what’s doable and what’s not.
Post them –
where everyone will see them every day. I thought I had a “flexible” schedule as a SAHM, so I took on more than what I had time for. What happened was that quality time with kids, husband, and myself got pushed to the bottom of the pile - and smothered.
In our Family Chore Chart, we have grouped some things together to make it easier to remember – we’ve also chosen to alternate weeks instead of days. It was the Shrink’s (husband’s) idea to do this and believe me – a n y t h i n g - to make it more doable for both of us was a welcomed idea for me.
With this new system in place, here’s what I’ve found:
I have help!!
I am no longer in charge of EVERYTHING outside of the Shrink’s office. When we both do our part, I have noticed that we also both feel more encouraged to help the other out with his/her work if we have time.
Our house is tidy!!
Although my kids still grumble about tidy-time, I’m not the only one trying to remember it and enforce it, so they realize it is a family thing. It is becoming a habit for them and the grumbling is short-lived.
Everyone is happier!!
Waking up to a tidy home, clean clothes in our drawers, ideas for meals posted with groceries in the fridge, makes for smoother transitions and way less reason for conflict.
Please click the hyperlinks to find examples of my Family Chore Chart and my Weekly Menu Template. Feel free to take what you want from them; you should be able to cut and paste them into a Word document so that you can configure and edit them to fit your specific needs. Or use them as a springboard to help you build your own system.
I hope these lists and charts will be helpful to you in some way!
This new season of Collaborated Effort sends those winter blues right out the door at our house. Good luck with yours!
Be sure to keep us posted on how it’s going and share your own tips with us!!
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